Chronicles of a Control Freak

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track (Prov 3:5,6 MSG)."

Just when I felt like I had it all figured out, God dropped a bomb right in my lap to remind me, I'm not in control. 

What do you mean I'm not in control? But I like being in control; it makes me feel strong and capable. It’s takes me away from my fears of the unknown. Control is the only way I function in the midst of ALL my dysfunction!

Sound like anyone you know? People who hold onto control in one area because they lack control in another. Am I the only one or could this be all of us?

In your business or in your interactions with others; would people classify you as the difficult one? What about in your relationship with hubby; are you holding onto control? In your parenting; are you the overbearing, over controlling mother?

I know for myself, God recently showed me that I was failing to release control and fully give myself over to ministry because I lacked trust. I lacked trust in leadership and in God.

I didn't trust Him... I didn't trust God.

I didn't trust that He would take care of my family. I wanted to give my all, but I couldn't resist having a back-up plan. It was so hard to release control because it made me feel protected.

You see, I had been hurt by the church. Growing up, my family sowed and sowed into ministry but was then was negatively impacted by our hardwork. The last thing I wanted to do was put my family through the same thing! So what did I do? I safeguarded myself.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it was playing out in my resistance towards my service to church, in the support of my husband and in my relationship with our leadership team. What I really failed to realize...

I wasn't just resisting God on a surface level, but I was not allowing Him to have full reign in this particular area of my life.

As a result, I was resisting His perfect will and good plans for my life. 

When we resist God, we find ourselves right in the devil’s playground; in his playground of fear.  

It is fear that causes us to resist God.

Perhaps it’s fear of the unknown, fear of being hurt again or just fear of failure. It is fear that causes us to resist and hold onto what we believe we can handle on our own, rather than trusting the omnipotent, fully-capable, absolutely-reliable God. 

Is Christ the Captain of your ship, or have you subtly told Him to take a back seat?

“Trust in the Lord with all your might and lean not on thy own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).”

Instead of holding onto control, learn to trust God. 

 “There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death (Proverbs 14:12).”

You might say, I want to trust God but I just don’t know how? 

Begin by confessing your sins. Confess your need to hold onto control. Be specific- name the exact area of your life. Ask the Lord to forgive you for your unbelief. Finally, ask Him to help you to trust again.

Now, lean in and listen to what He has to say. It is through this process that God takes His rightful position in our lives. 

Stay tuned to next week’s post on learning to trust God. But in the meantime, be encouraged by this article on the importance of being jointly connected by a church family.