Knowing When to Let Go
"Free at last, free at last, thank-God Almighty I'm free at last!" Those were my exact sentiments when I found out my request for a transfer was approved.
I had great intentions- believe you me, I did! I had planned on returning to work in September in the same classroom with the same group of kids. But when I found out a particular student wasn't leaving this year. I just couldn't do it. As a matter of fact, when I got the news I literally felt emotionally and mentally paralyzed!
I had gone through the phase of lacking motivation to go to work, which eventually led to a depression. I had even gone through the phase of just not caring anymore. All I did was go through the motions day after day.
I know you know what I'm talking about. It's that part of the story where you are walking though life; your marriage, your job, or that class and your spirit just resounds with the word: WHATEVER! Yep, hands in the air and all! You just do what you got to do to survive or to get through it.
Now, I don't want you getting the wrong impression here: the student isn't the problem, it's me! I'm ill equipped to effectively deal him. He has pulled out of me all kinds ofemotions; things I didn't even know existed (if you know what I mean)!
For the past few years, my whole focus has been channeled towards changing my perspective towards this problem, in hopes to manipulate the problem itself all together. But honey, nothing has worked. Absolutely nothing! It's been years and I'm still singing the same old song and chanting the same sad narrative.
So I'm sure you can understand, that when I got to the point of throwing up my hands in the air saying; WHATEVER -that was my way of surrendering at a pivotal point of weakness.
"Lord I'm done. I got nothing left in me."
Dissatisfaction on the job
I've written many times before on my frustrations with my job and with working with a particular student. But it was only recently that I came to a resolve that I had to go. No if, ands or buts- I had to go! It wasn't an "I want to". No, it was an "I have to!"
And I believe we all eventually get here- to a place where we come to a resolve in our heart that we are going to take that big step of faith to create change.
The Woman with the Issue of Blood
I think about the woman with the issue of blood (Luke 8: 43-48). She didn't care how deep into the crowd she was or her significance as a woman that was labelled by the culture of that time. It all did not matter! She knew what she knew, and was tired of living with an issue others could never come to understand.
And that's so many of us! It's not just the physical pain, but it's also the emotional, the mental and the spiritual distress. Oh and the self-blame and the deterioration of our self-esteem...it all impacts our health, our ability to reason; but most importantly, it impacts our self-worth.
This unnamed woman (and I love that she is unnamed because we could slide our name in there), came to a resolve that she was going to get over this. You see, she had spent all of her living on physicians- she was at a point of desperation for the solution to her problem. That day, a determination rose up inside of her. The bible says, she stretched forth her hand and touched the hem of Jesus (Luke 8:44).
Even if she couldn't entirely get His attention, she was determined to receive a miracle from the Miracle Worker Himself!
Being in a state of emotional and mental paralysis, I knew I had reached rock bottom. I knew I had nothing left to give and nowhere else to turn, but to Jesus Himself. I stretched the little faith I had left and began crying out to Him.
I created a resolve- a firm determination to not go back to the same frustration. I was transferring out! And even though it was past the deadline to submit a request for a transfer, I decided I was going to try anyway.
Hey, I was desperate and determined; something had to give.
But do you know what happened?
Just like this unnamed woman, my faith got Jesus' attention; He heard the cry of my heart and gave me a super dose of His unmerited favour. My request was approved!
What peace overwhelmed me. I couldn't be more happier!
If you are feeling overwhelmed and something in your life is terribly frustrating you, I want to encourage you to trade in your sorrows for the joy of the Lord. Call upon Him. Cry if you have to...let your faith bring you to a place of "I have to" so that God can give you the favour you need to create a new reality! Ladies, it's time to make that shift!
Knowing when and how to let go:
1. Remain one with your inner self: I often say this in my posts but I cannot stress it enough- it is so important to listen to your mind, body and soul; that inner voice will let you know when enough is enough. You will eventually get to a place where you aren't necessarily running from the challenge; instead, YOU, yourself recognize that there's nothing left to give. You realize that even though letting go could put you in a worst predicament, it's totally worth it.
2. Plan and make your move: You might be like me, the deadline has passed, but hey it's worth a try. Apply yourself anyhow. God has a funny way of opening up close doors. Or, just close your eyes and take the leap- leave that relationship! Yes, I know you might not have the money or the resources, but you know a friend, a church or a community member. Seek just that- the help God has already sent you. Plan it out and quickly make your move.
3. Let go by forgiving: Firstly, forgive yourself. It's not that you didn't know better, it's that you weren't ready. And that's ok. Nothing happens before it's time. Next, forgive others who have hurt you or who have acted as road blocks to your endeavours. This is critical because you will never move forward if you cannot forgive.
4. Submit your future to God: After this move, you may not know what's next. Or, perhaps you have a grand plan- either way, submit it to God because He sees what we cannot see. Pray and ask for His guidance along the way. Your next move is on Him, not you! Your job is to listen, obey and act by faith.
Can I be honest with you for a moment? God did not intend that we just survive, but that in life we thrive! He doesn't want us feeling burdened down and in despair. No, He wants us to prevail in EVERY circumstance and in ALL areas of life. Know when it's time to let go and thrive!
Speak God's Word over your Life:
Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (Prov 4: 25-27).
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you (Isaiah 26:3).
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5).
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8).